Tragically, the other day my deodorant stopped working halfway through its life span. Luckily, when I went to the store there was a lady standing in the aisle whose job it was to open whichever deodorant I wanted, take out the plastic block, roll it up, and stick it next to my nose so I could make sure it smelled good before I bought it.
Last night I had a dream that Steph was going into labor and that I was in a wheelchair. I’m not really sure what I’ve been eating or drinking, but I’ve been having weird dreams lately.
The following is a selection of bits of random conversations I have had with people in the past couple months. Taken out of context some of them sound a little odd, but I can assure you they sounded just as odd to me within the context. I would also like to note that I do not want to insult any Peruvians who may happen to be reading this blog; I just thought these comments were worth noting.
Forewarning: all the following conversations and responses take place in Spanish, except for Any Random Peruvian on the Street and Sample Peruvian 2.
Any Random Peruvian on the Street: Hello!
Me: Blah Blah Blah…
Sample Peruvian 1: So, you’re not from here are you.
Sample Peruvian 2: Do yoo espeek eengleesh?
Sample Peruvian 3: So, do you like going to the movies?
Sample Peruvian 4: Would you like to come play poker?
Me: Can you teach me how to read palms too?
Peruvian: You have pretty hands.
(Reference: for those who don’t know, “guapa chica” means “attractive girl”)
Me: Good afternoon, how are you?
Taxi Driver: You’re my first passenger of the night, how lucky I am to have such a guapa chica in my car!
Me: That comment wasn’t necessary. I don’t believe you.
Taxi Driver: Why don’t you believe that you’re guapa?
Me: I’m not answering that question.
Taxi Driver: You’re the only girl I’ve ever met who doesn’t think she’s guapa!
Peruvian of the male species: So, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Peruvian o.t.m.s.: And why does a girl as pretty as you not have a boyfriend?
WARNING: If anyone else uses that line on me, there will be bad consequences. Probably consisting of me rolling my eyes and walking away.
My Peruvian parents trying to teach me some dance moves: Wow, you actually move pretty well for a gringa!
Me: ….Thank you?
Anyway I realize this entry is a little bit pointless, but I felt like stalling my homework a leetle bit longer, and this was the product of my procrastination. Eventually I'll post the last of the pictures from my trip, so if you're not too bored of reading about my life, feel free to sit at your computer and obsessively refresh the page until I update this blog again! Sank you.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Way down north, way up south
Time for another update of things I did a month ago but didn’t write about until now!
Cusco was the next stop on our journey. I like to make fwends everywhere I go (and Leila, again I am wearing your shirt. Also your fleece).
We became such good friends that he offered to make me a hat out of his very own fur. We got yelled at for taking this picture though. Apparently it was illegal. I was not previously aware that there were any rules in Peru, but this experience proved me wrong. I guess you learn something new every day!
Interested in some lipstick? It stays on for 24 hours, and it’s all-natural! I think it’s made out of a leaf of some sort. I almost bought some Inca Shampoo, which is also made from a mysterious indigenous plant, but ultimately decided against it. In the demonstration, however, it worked surprisingly well – it transformed a completely brown and dirty (and wet) clump of llama/alpaca (I don’t really understand the difference) fur into a dazzlingly white cotton cloud. I don’t think it actually became cotton though. And I would hesitate using it on my own hair, because I really don’t think the puffy cloud look would do me any justice.
I swear over all the centipedes that I’ve killed’s dead bodies that I actually jumped off the mountain and I actually flied (I mean flew), but unfortunately my personal photographer got lazy and didn’t feel like taking pictures of it, so no one will ever be able to prove it. Hmph.
I wish this were the view outside my bedroom window too!
I tried to look Peruvian and blend in, but I don’t think it worked. Why is everyone here so short.
Fetz, thees one ees for tugio. I’m sorry I’m not in the classic pose, nor in the nude. It was a bit too chilly for that. But I couldn’t resist a fountain picture.
Ok, that about concludes the second leg (can you give us a foot?) of my recent embarkment! Soon I will be back to report on the final days (dun dun dun) (suspenseful background music)…
Many-a-Llama and Alpaca I did find
Cusco was the next stop on our journey. I like to make fwends everywhere I go (and Leila, again I am wearing your shirt. Also your fleece).More New Styles
We became such good friends that he offered to make me a hat out of his very own fur. We got yelled at for taking this picture though. Apparently it was illegal. I was not previously aware that there were any rules in Peru, but this experience proved me wrong. I guess you learn something new every day!Natural Remedies
Interested in some lipstick? It stays on for 24 hours, and it’s all-natural! I think it’s made out of a leaf of some sort. I almost bought some Inca Shampoo, which is also made from a mysterious indigenous plant, but ultimately decided against it. In the demonstration, however, it worked surprisingly well – it transformed a completely brown and dirty (and wet) clump of llama/alpaca (I don’t really understand the difference) fur into a dazzlingly white cotton cloud. I don’t think it actually became cotton though. And I would hesitate using it on my own hair, because I really don’t think the puffy cloud look would do me any justice.The Mysterious Machu Picchu
I swear over all the centipedes that I’ve killed’s dead bodies that I actually jumped off the mountain and I actually flied (I mean flew), but unfortunately my personal photographer got lazy and didn’t feel like taking pictures of it, so no one will ever be able to prove it. Hmph.Macho Machu Picchu
I wish this were the view outside my bedroom window too!I have no good title for this picture.
I tried to look Peruvian and blend in, but I don’t think it worked. Why is everyone here so short.Heifetz!
Fetz, thees one ees for tugio. I’m sorry I’m not in the classic pose, nor in the nude. It was a bit too chilly for that. But I couldn’t resist a fountain picture.Ok, that about concludes the second leg (can you give us a foot?) of my recent embarkment! Soon I will be back to report on the final days (dun dun dun) (suspenseful background music)…
Friday, August 20, 2010
Ovaltine....Puh-haps?
My new father knows how to there there pat. I didn’t even teach him how to do it. It is wry exciting.
Note: if the above sentence didn’t make sense to you, don’t worry. Only my immediate family members will be able to understand it.
Okay, as promised to my millions of fans and followers of this blog, I shall talk about my travels. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I will cut this entry short by posting pictures. Now, where should I start? Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start! (Previous sentence sung in voice of the lady from Sound of Music).
This was our bungalow. It was complete with a hammock, which I accidentally took a nap on every day we were there (all two days). It lives a place called Puerto Maldonado, part of the jungle of Peru. Our guide guided us through the jungle and showed us all the medicinal plants he could find. My favorite was one which looked innocent but when chewed turned my mouth numb and tingly. He gave us some extra so we could play jokes on our friends back in Lima, but I don’t think he knew that 99% of the people I knew in Peru were currently standing next to me at the time. Anyway, it dried out so we couldn’t do anything with it anyway. Actually that’s a lie, I used it when I needed to chop of my arm because I had a suspicious bug bite.
Other highlight of the medicinal walk: he crushed up a green leaf which turned into a purple mush, which he painted on my face and made me look like a wanna-be indigenous person. According to him, I looked better like that, but I’m not sure how I feel about that statement. I might try bringing the look back to Holy Cross with me though. I think it could become a new fashion. (Note to a dear Leila Gerstein: I’m wearing one of the shirts that you gave me. Also, Right Round just came up on my iTunes shuffle. I thought you should know).
Interestingly enough, there are a lot of trees in the jungle.
We saw many-an-animal. I tried to throw this monkey a banana but unfortunately my muscles are weaker than I thought because I didn’t throw it high enough so he didn’t catch it, and it just splatted on the ground. Other animals we saw: lots of parrots, one toucan, other species of birds, alligators, many many ants, too many mosquitos to count, capybaras (world’s largest rodents, which reminded me of the ones in The Princess Bride), piranhas and tarantulas (though we didn’t actually see either of those things, they just promised us they existed) and, strangely enough, some humans too. I’m not sure what they were doing way out there.
We had to wake up super early to watch some parrots eat dirt from the side of a hill in the middle of the woods, so I took a picture of the pretty sunrise. Now my life goal of watching the sunrise is fulfilled, though I’m not sure if it counts because I woke up early against my will.
Wow, I spent a lot of time talking just about Puerto Maldonado. I shall rest my brain now and post more about the rest of the trip later. There are still 6 days left of which to speak! I’ll try to be less wordy in the future. Ah, mother, maybe I am more like you than I thought!
So for now, I will say…Goodnight!
PS to my family - I just did the Val cough that you always make fun of me for.
Note: if the above sentence didn’t make sense to you, don’t worry. Only my immediate family members will be able to understand it.
Okay, as promised to my millions of fans and followers of this blog, I shall talk about my travels. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I will cut this entry short by posting pictures. Now, where should I start? Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start! (Previous sentence sung in voice of the lady from Sound of Music).
The Amazon
This was our bungalow. It was complete with a hammock, which I accidentally took a nap on every day we were there (all two days). It lives a place called Puerto Maldonado, part of the jungle of Peru. Our guide guided us through the jungle and showed us all the medicinal plants he could find. My favorite was one which looked innocent but when chewed turned my mouth numb and tingly. He gave us some extra so we could play jokes on our friends back in Lima, but I don’t think he knew that 99% of the people I knew in Peru were currently standing next to me at the time. Anyway, it dried out so we couldn’t do anything with it anyway. Actually that’s a lie, I used it when I needed to chop of my arm because I had a suspicious bug bite.Tribeswomen
Other highlight of the medicinal walk: he crushed up a green leaf which turned into a purple mush, which he painted on my face and made me look like a wanna-be indigenous person. According to him, I looked better like that, but I’m not sure how I feel about that statement. I might try bringing the look back to Holy Cross with me though. I think it could become a new fashion. (Note to a dear Leila Gerstein: I’m wearing one of the shirts that you gave me. Also, Right Round just came up on my iTunes shuffle. I thought you should know).A Tree! (A Goose!)
Interestingly enough, there are a lot of trees in the jungle.The Island of the Monkeys
We saw many-an-animal. I tried to throw this monkey a banana but unfortunately my muscles are weaker than I thought because I didn’t throw it high enough so he didn’t catch it, and it just splatted on the ground. Other animals we saw: lots of parrots, one toucan, other species of birds, alligators, many many ants, too many mosquitos to count, capybaras (world’s largest rodents, which reminded me of the ones in The Princess Bride), piranhas and tarantulas (though we didn’t actually see either of those things, they just promised us they existed) and, strangely enough, some humans too. I’m not sure what they were doing way out there.Pretty Scenery
We had to wake up super early to watch some parrots eat dirt from the side of a hill in the middle of the woods, so I took a picture of the pretty sunrise. Now my life goal of watching the sunrise is fulfilled, though I’m not sure if it counts because I woke up early against my will.Wow, I spent a lot of time talking just about Puerto Maldonado. I shall rest my brain now and post more about the rest of the trip later. There are still 6 days left of which to speak! I’ll try to be less wordy in the future. Ah, mother, maybe I am more like you than I thought!
So for now, I will say…Goodnight!
PS to my family - I just did the Val cough that you always make fun of me for.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
You-you kiss-ed me!
Just a random note that I would like to point out - I am still getting used to this whole kissing people on the cheek as a greeting/parting thing. I am constantly faced with the dilemna of whether I should go for it or not go for it, and whether or not the other person will think I'm weird or rude if I do or don't, or whether they're going to make the plunge or not. I have also found myself in the strange situation where I aim for one side and the other person starts in towards the other, and then you end up bouncing your faces back and forth as if you're trying to perform some type of ritual dance. Lastly, there is the situation where I decide to go for it but the angle is wrong and I end up planting my lips in a strange place like someone's ears, eyes, neck, chin, elbow, shoulderblade, I think once even someone's toe - not really sure how that one happened.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
43 days.
I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in a while. Fetz, I know you were hoping this would happen. But I refuse to let you win. Therefore, I shall make this entry extra funny and awesome! Actually I can’t promise that. But I’ll do my best.
Many, many tales I have to tell! Some of them are tall tales, and therefore I will not waste time posting them because they aren’t even true. Most of the tales, however, are short, just like most Peruvians. I am not yet sure how long I am about to ramble, but if you get bored feel free to stop reading. Chances are I’ll never find out. Unless you decided to tell me, which would just be stupid because that would be unnecessarily insulting to my pride.
If you don’t mind, (not that it would make a difference if you did), I shall list some of my favorite things about Peru thus far:
1. Discotecas.
I continually make a fool of myself due to my horrible dancing non-skills, yet I enjoy discotecas nonetheless. In addition, I am constantly amazed at how well Peruvian men can dance. In an attempt to learn how to move my hips, feet, shoulders, and hands in all different directions at the same time, I plan on taking a salsa class. Also, you should know that I am getting better at staying out later. Last week, I made it all the way to 3:30!
2. Pirated movies.
They are perfect quality, often trilingual, and always very cheap. And the first movie I bought began with an anti-pirating ad, so I knew it was authentically and legitimately pirated (Okay, I’ll stop using the word Pirated now. End of paragraph).
3. Discounts.
(Mother Dearest would be excited, because sometimes things are practically free!). If someone gives you a price, and you don’t like it (which is basically always), if you say, “Can you give me a discount?” they will! It’s just like my father’s theory on credit cards (and I quote) – “You give them a little piece of plastic, they give you free stuff, and then they give the plastic back to you!”
Other update, for those who are interested:
We recently relocated to a new house and the family is lovely. I recommend that my father refrain from visiting me, due to the four dogs in the house. I am learning to get used to sudden loud noises, for I do not wish to embarrass myself by jumping out of my chair every time they begin to yelp. Luckily, there are no electric flushing toilets in this house so I only have to work on conquering one fear at a time.
The food in this house is delicious, and the dinner company always jolly. My bed is warm with several blankets, and there is always an entire bin full of bread in case I should ever find myself hungry. Which is unlikely considering how much I eat here. Fortunately, I prepared myself for the future and bought some stretchy jeans. See how good I am at planning ahead? I still can’t believe Harvard rejected me.
Well, I have plenty more to say but for now I think I will get my beauty rest (not that I need it). Hopefully soon enough I will get my act together and post an entry on our latest trip, with plenty of visuals of course. I hope the suspense doesn’t kill anyone! And Mother, I hope the suspense of this blog isn’t too much for you to handle.
Many, many tales I have to tell! Some of them are tall tales, and therefore I will not waste time posting them because they aren’t even true. Most of the tales, however, are short, just like most Peruvians. I am not yet sure how long I am about to ramble, but if you get bored feel free to stop reading. Chances are I’ll never find out. Unless you decided to tell me, which would just be stupid because that would be unnecessarily insulting to my pride.
If you don’t mind, (not that it would make a difference if you did), I shall list some of my favorite things about Peru thus far:
1. Discotecas.
I continually make a fool of myself due to my horrible dancing non-skills, yet I enjoy discotecas nonetheless. In addition, I am constantly amazed at how well Peruvian men can dance. In an attempt to learn how to move my hips, feet, shoulders, and hands in all different directions at the same time, I plan on taking a salsa class. Also, you should know that I am getting better at staying out later. Last week, I made it all the way to 3:30!
2. Pirated movies.
They are perfect quality, often trilingual, and always very cheap. And the first movie I bought began with an anti-pirating ad, so I knew it was authentically and legitimately pirated (Okay, I’ll stop using the word Pirated now. End of paragraph).
3. Discounts.
(Mother Dearest would be excited, because sometimes things are practically free!). If someone gives you a price, and you don’t like it (which is basically always), if you say, “Can you give me a discount?” they will! It’s just like my father’s theory on credit cards (and I quote) – “You give them a little piece of plastic, they give you free stuff, and then they give the plastic back to you!”
Other update, for those who are interested:
We recently relocated to a new house and the family is lovely. I recommend that my father refrain from visiting me, due to the four dogs in the house. I am learning to get used to sudden loud noises, for I do not wish to embarrass myself by jumping out of my chair every time they begin to yelp. Luckily, there are no electric flushing toilets in this house so I only have to work on conquering one fear at a time.
The food in this house is delicious, and the dinner company always jolly. My bed is warm with several blankets, and there is always an entire bin full of bread in case I should ever find myself hungry. Which is unlikely considering how much I eat here. Fortunately, I prepared myself for the future and bought some stretchy jeans. See how good I am at planning ahead? I still can’t believe Harvard rejected me.
Well, I have plenty more to say but for now I think I will get my beauty rest (not that I need it). Hopefully soon enough I will get my act together and post an entry on our latest trip, with plenty of visuals of course. I hope the suspense doesn’t kill anyone! And Mother, I hope the suspense of this blog isn’t too much for you to handle.
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