Excuse me, where is the fat lady?

In class the other day our teacher Julio decided to give us a chance to apply our classroom knowledge to the real world, so he made us walk around the school, pointed at random victims, and forced us to interrogate them. We had to ask such questions as, "Excuse me, is this the art cafeteria?" as we were standing in the science cafeteria. Or, "Pardon me, where is the sports center?" The people gave us a weird look and pointed to the building right in front of us. He also taught us some important things like which cafeteria has the best desserts (the art cafeteria. Not to be confused with the science cafeteria). During our long walk zigzagging through the school, he pointed out many-a-sculpture that are scattered around campus. One was of a bust of some person, but I don't remember who it was or how you say the word "bust" in spanish. At least I actually now know that a bust is a type of statue, not someone's breast (that's what I used to think). Julio's made sure to show us his favorite statue, which is of a really fat lady, but honestly I didn't find it that impressive. Don't tell him though, I wouldn't want to insult him and make him give me an F. And last but certainly not least, Julio taught us some university lingo - the name of the main campus avenue is Tontódremas, which means Avenue of All the Stupidheads Who Walk On It (AKA the students).

That same day, we also went to this cool place but I don't really remember what it was called. Something about someone named Felipe. It's a fort on the coast that was originally built to keep out pirates (at least, I think that's what I was told. Again, I can't really understand people all the time). Since our friend Evelyn (who works for Holy Cross and takes us on all our trips) couldn't make it that day, our driver Percy came with us instead. He had to drive us there anyway, so it worked out quite nicely! Before we entered the fort, a surly lady told Percy that tickets cost extra money for tourists, so he immediately informed her that Leslie and I were his cousins. I don't know why she didn't just assume that, because we all look so much alike. We went into the museum there to look at some paintings and old armor and weapons (I personally am a supporter of peace, but Timmy would have liked it). Next we went through the stone tunnels and saw the jail where they used to hold prisoners (hopefully they don't anymore). It was very tiny, very dark, and very .... stoney (not because the prisoners were stoned, but because it was made of stone). And finally, we went to the top of a tower to look at the view of the city and ocean, which was very nice. I felt extremely powerful. Even though the only power I had was the power to choose to throw my camera off the edge and watch it splat on the ground. Ultimately, for the greater good, I chose to step down from that position and give up the power. Which has allowed me to show you this beautiful picture:

As you can see, we all look related.
Note: string of hair across my forehead is not my unibrow. It's just a piece of hair blowing in the wind. I was trying to achieve a wind-swept look, but now I know better.